Do Dogs really remember?

Do dogs really remember you?

Two weeks ago I saw two dogs I hadn't seen for 6 months and a year during one week.

Both times, both dogs were jumping and yapping at the sight or the smell of me.

Do dogs remember those that petted them?

Do dogs remember your scent?

Do dogs remember you giving them attention?

Do I smell like a dog?

Am I a dog?!

Postcards and Letters

Do you still recieve postcards? Do you ever get handwritten letters?

Do you send postcards? Do you write handwritten letters?

Do you only send occassional emails to aqquaintances?

Is it weird to send a postcard to somebody who lives a 30 mins train ride away just to say 'hi, I'm thinking about you'?

When was the last time you sent a real postcard and not an email?

Vigilantes/heroes/do-gooders

Is there room in modern life for a superhero? Could a Batman type figure truly survive in today's world? Why has no SAS trained man become a crime fighter? Or would he require corporate sponsorship? Would he run foul of speed cameras, speed bumps? Would criminals surface in costume too (they exist to be caught?)? Would it be all about the fame for a modern vigilante/crimefighter?

Is Robin Hood one of the earliest costumed heroes or a criminal? Is Zorro hero or criminal? Is Jesus the earliest literary superhero?

I wonder...

Where has the confidence I had 3 years has gone?
Will I find this confidence?
Will I ever get to play 'house'? e.g. Buy my own property and but things for it...
Will I be a father?
Will I find love?
Will Cisse actualy start this season in the Premiership for Liverpool?
Will I ever stop thinking about N.?
Why doesn't N. like me?
Why are Faber & Faber Paperbacks so expensive?
When will I really smile again?

Do most people really go out on Saturday?

Do most people really go out on Saturday? I've never really been one to drink or to go out on Satyrday, I'll stay in and curse my lack of iniative in not going out and hitting on girls or whatever it is I'm meant to be doing.

I'm sure everybody else is out there having a wild time while I'm at home either watching a DVD, surfing the net or waiting for Match of the Day to come on.

I have the telephone numbers of women I'd like to spend an evening with but I don't call and ask them out because I am 'friend' and not potential suitor. I wonder why I keep falling into that particular category, it can be demoralising to be 'friend' at times.

Saturdays come and go much the same as every other, I cannot remember a truly memorable Saturday. But I guess we go with what it is that we want to do or do. Some just follow the crowd and go out because everybody else doing it. Do some of those who are out with the crowds actually not want to be there but are there because they're 'friends' are there?

My plans for today? None so far...

feeling flat

I feel flat today.
I feel deflated.
I am that melting fried egg.
Is it the weather?
Is it the quietness around me?
Is it the uncertainty?
Is it just a lack of fire?

Comic book style: pen & marker pen drawing

Let it flow

I'm sure I read it somewhere and perhaps even alluded to it in a previous post but I think that I think too much at times.

Sports at its purest and by any player of that sport is a wonder to watch when they are in the 'zone'. By that I mean that moment when everything they do is perfect, the technique, the result, all is in perfect harmony. They aren't out thinking themselves with how to do the next move, or where to put the next step, it is all just flowing.

I believe we can find the zone in almost any endeavour but its not easy to find it. Writers know it, painters know it, sculptors, even salesmen I'll bet can allude to it...even computer game players. They are small moments that we transcend our existences.

It has become a struggle to create a picture, I need inspiration or a reference at best. I have been amassing photographic images from all sorts of magazines to be used as reference for the way figures would stand or look. The faces never really look the same in my pictures.

But the days of just doing it without checking a reference seem to be gone especially with the wonder that is the female body.

Everything is thought through now how the arm connects to the torso and wehat the skeletal system is doing to make that shape.

Its a little sad that the freedom that a child exercises in drawing, the magic of just doing it has gone.

And perhaps that's what we are trying to recapture when we put pen to paper...

'And the more I see - the more I know
The more I know - the less I understand.'

-Paul Weller, 'the Changing Man'

Other People's CDs

Just because they're next to the computer, my brother has been putting everything onto his ipod recently and CDs I have never seen are showing up.

I have just discovered 'Somethin' Else' by Cannonball Adderley, where does he discover these things? What lead him to this CD? I will have to interrogate...

Somedays I really don't want to hear people's voices and prefer music without words.

It can be Vivaldi, Mozart and the rest of the classical all stars or even a soundtrack or as the case this morning some jazz.

Perception is a funny thing, it has been pointed out to me that my posts are less gloomy and I'm inclined to agree actually. In the past they had been more of the morbid self attention variety and recently I like to think they've become more reflective but in a positive light.

Thats not to say they might get gloomy and moany again but for now I feel a little bit more like I'm on an even keel with a bit of an idea where I'm going to.

Me, You and the nature of things

Me, You and the ways we talk these days. Would I be talking to some people that I do if weren't for the internet? Would the way we dress or the way we drive, walk, talk or eat put us off from meeting each other? The internet has allowed me to meet people albeit online,that I might not meet otherwise. Peoople that I might pass on the street unnoticed. People who live in foreign countries, people in cities in the same country that I would not visit, or people that I would not approach out of shyness. On the internet you find the comfort of strangers and an openess that is much harder to find in reality.

Is this because we have the chance to delete and correct our thoughts before we press 'enter' when we speak online? Or is it the fact that we know deep down that we might not ever meet the people that we share our inner monlogues with that we open up? Each of us behind the relative safety of our monitors...

It's not a criticism but I guess a roundabout way of praising the Internet for letting me meet and hear the voices of those that I might never have heard without it.

So if you're reading this...'Hi, pleased to meet you, tell me more...'

I feel so tired today

I wonder if I have always been a dreamer that I let days pass and do not actually try to pursue my dreams for fear of disappointment.

Today I have ideas of things and places that I'd like to do and go to but have so little energy.

I cannot put my thoughts into order, I'll leave this post as is.

Dream a little dream...

Of the seven books that I seem to be reading at the same time, I recently found 'The Alchemist' by Paulo Coelho in my bag yesterday. I started reading it again and found this interesting:

'But I'm afraid that it would all be a disappointment, so I prefer just to dream about it'

Is it better to realize ones's dreams? Or is it preferable to dream about thngs.

Maybe I'll find the answer when I finish the book.

It's an interesting idea, is the pursuit of the dream and the realization of it the be all and end all or is the dream always better than the reality or can the reality on occassion surpass the dream?

I may be talking in circles and being a little philosophical or pretentious depending on your point of view.

But i just thought I'd get it out there...

All the people in my phone

Looking at the phonebook in my phone I see names that I don't call and names that don't call me. There are names that I wish would return my phonecalls and names that I barely remember. What are these people doing? Do they even remember me? Do I live in their phonebooks still?

There exists one number that I have deleted on numerous occassion only to return that number back to my phonebook and despite my best efforts I still wonder what the owner of that number does each day. I don't call because I feel resentment when my call is left ignored. It sucks caring for somebody who pays you no attention.

I did it! I did it!

For all those who are quite able already it may not be a big deal but I changed my links list and added my first link. So i learnt something today! Think i might have to take a nap now that's worn me out!

The Beatles

I'm listening to 'Revolver'this morning...I wasn't even born when they recorded it. I guess that's proof of the pudding that the Beatles can stand the test of time or did I grow up in the womb listening to the Beatles, I'll have to ask about that one...

I watch too many movies

You know you watch too many movies when a situation you're in makes you think of a scene of a movie.

Today I sat in a empty waiting room in a hospital and thought of 'Garden State'.

There was no dog humping my leg and more disappointingly no Natalie Portman but it was a clean modern hospital waiting room.

Fitting the pieces together

This has been a strange strange year, one of revaluation. I've been high, I've been low and I still haven't found what I'm looking for. I've discovered that my heart is not as strong as it should be metaphorically and literally. I've questioned where it is I am going or could or should be going. Do I have an answer? No. Do i feel like I should have an answer? Some days yes and other days I find nothing but disappointment in myself. Am I my harshest critic? Perhaps. Am I afforded the luxury of too much time to contemplate? Yes. Will I regret this year in the years to come? Very possibly. Will I rue the fact that I didn't do very much? Yes probably.

Nudge nudge

I receieved a nudge it seems...you know who you are ;)

I have been aware that I haven't been tending my blog and i wish I could say that's due to me going off on a grand adventure but I'm afraid its not.

Can it be that I've lost the power of speech? No that's hardly likely...its been a strange start to September...

I haven't thought too hard about things or tried too hard to do things.

Depending on your point of view that's bone idleness or post millenial ennui.

There will be more to come...

Soon

It's getter closer to Wednesday. After waiting for Wednesday, I'll get to finally find out how much longer I'll have to wait for the day for the replacement.

The more I think, the less I do...

Is this what comes with age?

Why do I get junk mail on here!?

Please see the comments to the last post.

Is there anyway to prevent this from happening?