Intermittent service

I am well aware that my output here has greatly diminished despite lots going on in the world.

The World Cup was only 17 days ago and I didn't write about it much although I watched almost every match...the one I wanted to see I didn't because I was at work was Japan vs Denmark. Which was one of those results that did have a jaw dropping effect.

I can't help but feel that while so much is going on around me that I'm still partly just walking through...a passer by or an observer of life.

I had a couple of long, long work days in the last couple of weeks...two of those for very good pay and the others not so well paid. While there is great satisfaction to be had from working so hard it also made me think wouldn't it be great to go home to somebody after a 12 hour work day. To get back to find that she's waited up for you and just wants to hold you but knows well enough not to talk too much.

I think of a film directed by a friend that dealt with a literal solitary existence but even when I'm surrounded by faces and bodies in a given space at a given time...I can still feel detached.

I'm not sure if it is loneliness that I feel...do I long to share laughs, kisses and the touch of a hand...do I feel sad? angry? or just indifferent.

Or do I just think too much?

Am I worried?