Daytripper

Yesterday, I went out in the car and discovered 'Giantwow Volume 1' is a great CD to drive to.

My destination?

Hell and nothing was going to stop me!

Just kidding...I really did go for a daytrip today in the car and the Cd was great driving music. I drove out to the Essex Coast which should be a two hour drive but took a little bit longer because the World's Most Expensive Carpark aka the M25 had roadworks on it. Once clear of that it was plain sailing to Walton-on-Naze.

I have also after prompting by a friend discovered that a 'naze' is a promotory or headland.

I'd even done tide chart checks on the net so that it would be lowtide when I'd get there. I have since found out more about Walton-on-Naze since coming home but I went because the inner geek in me wanted to find fossil sharks teeth which according to a couple of sites I consulted on the net were plentiful. Other highlights not tested by me is Walton Pier which is apparently the second longest in Britain maybe next time I'll check it out...

Plentiful my a***! Ok I suppose what with the warm weather we've been having lately maybe the sea's not churning it all up like it could but I came home with possibly bits of metal and no sharks teeth. Also don't wear trainers that you want to keep clean (guess what I'll be doing at some point on Tuesday!) because its not an entirely sandy beach since its mostly London Clay!

Perhaps because it was Monday but it was strangely quiet along the cliffs and I didn't see too many people there while I walked and searched...I parked at the top of the 'naze'/cliffs to you and I then walked down the steep steps to beach level or naze/cliff face level and walked along the beach between the naze/cliff face and the retreating sea at low tide which was at 1722!

Still it was good to be out and about in a location other than a town or London with their clone streets. I didn't see a single Starbucks, Next, Boots or M&S around Walton or Frinton.

Also nobody seemed to be in that much of a hurry, mind you I don't think I interacted with a single person while I was there. In fact I didn't even have a bite to eat or a cup of coffee or an ice cream. I made no small talk or even said 'thank you' to any shopkeepers while I was there. I've realised I spoke to nobody while I was there only a brief phonecall on my mobile phone and that's all...

It did occur to me though it must be unbearable growing up around there. As quiet as it is there perhaps it's just too quiet.

Will I go back? Probably...when I don't know yet.

A New Week

Last week was a cluster f*** of information for my lazy brain! There was Monday and Tuesday gathering information about ICD's and the when's, why's and wherefores to consider and then there was the gaining of knowledge in a crash course of CAD for the rest of the week that left me with headaches!

The weekend was spent sleeping late, reading articles in the Sunday papers that interested me, watching a DVD, surfing the Internet, noting random thoughts both mentally and on paper, watching bits of the Open, playing the merest bit of PS2 and before you know it, its the end of Sunday.

I have Part 2 of the CAD course resuming midweek to overload my brain with information.

I quite enjoy having a bit of structure to my life of leisure and in coming across old aqquaintances where the course is taking place as well as making new ones...aimlessness is all well and good but sometimes it does become rather wearisome and tedious to spend too much time in the company of the self.

Bah!

Today was so hot! I don't know how hot it actually got but it's been steaming I have a headache from it all although concentrating hard at learning a CAD programme all day might have contributed to that too.

Phonecall? What phonecall? Oh that phonecall. Yes, I got the phonecall.

It wasn't about a job.

It wasn't a girl calling to ask me out or saying yes to being asked out.

It was the doctor calling me to tell me that I would need to have an ICD.

Yay! More time in the hospital and I get to hand my driving license back in for another six months. Well it won't be as serious an operation no now its a procedure still have to go as an Inpatient though in mid-August.

What is an ICD?

A device which is implanted within the chest wall. It monitors the heart rhythm, senses if there is about to be a severe disturbance in heart rhythm and if necessary delivers an electrical impulse to stop the abnormal rhythm and allow the normal rhythm to resume.

(from BHF.org.uk)

Bit bummed out really thought I could leave it all alone for a bit...oh well.

So no jetting off on holidays...Blackpool here I come!

Ring! Dammit!

I had plans for today that might have made for an interesting post but instead I overslept and am now waiting for the phone to ring.

I need the phone to ring so that I can find out what happens next.

Well, its almost two o'clock so that means lunch will be over then it'll take 10 to 15 minutes to settle in with a post lunch tea or coffee and then address tasks for the afternoon.

Which hopefully means I'll get my phonecall...

La Dolce Vita

'The Sweet Life'. There are many times where I am convinced that I'm missing out on life or what other people count as life, that life must be so much sweeter than what I experience. I live vicariously through reading about the worries and experiences of others. I watch and follow the plots of lives on a cinema screen or on a televison. I read the stories told in pictures of life and what it means to others and how they perceive it.

Our priorities in this life shift and change constantly our ambition pushes us forward but then we also choose to escape from the reality of it all by indulgence in things designed to give us pleasure to aid us in forgetting that each day that passes is another lost.

If I remember rightly in Fellini's film 'La Dolce Vita', life turns out not to be so sweet when reality encroaches in on the good times. One cannot live on good times alone but it would be nice to enjoy some every now and then.

If there is a hint of gloom and melancholy it comes probably from being here in the house of gloom typing at twenty past midnight. That is not to say I myself have not had good times of late quite the opposite for only last week did I have two evenings out that could fall under the heading of a 'good' night out.

I wonder what would make up the day or the evening that would have me smile to myself and say 'Ah, La Dolce Vita.'

Do you have a moment or can you think of one what would bring you round to think that even for the time that it lasts that you found you're 'La Dolce Vita' moment?

Another one (I will post something else soon)

Your Personality Profile

You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant. Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle. You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs. For you, comfort and calm are very important. You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection. You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Really?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is low. Even if you're tempted, you'd try hard not to do it. You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Reflections

It seems almost a monthly event that I get a little blue. I crave the company of others but in the same breath want nobody but feel that I need something. Then I start to reflect upon what I've done, where I've been and where I am.

I look back upon my twenties and remember a more optimistic if not slightly more imaginative person who would try things like writing short stories, short films, scripts, paint in oils, try different sports and witha little encouragement and approval would pursue those as potential careers.

My life has always been about seeking approval and acceptance and the romantic idea of belonging. Have I achieved that? Not really I can be in a crowded place and still be so self absorbed to still feel terribly lonely. I wish sometimes I could just stop worrying and stop thinking.

In some respect I suppose all humans are looking to bond and to form a community hence neighbourhoods of people from the same country or sports clubs. The search for our own small community spirit where we can be ourselves.

I don't even live in the city so the urban loneliness of the city doesn't count in my case. Perhaps mine is the mystery of what happens behind the closed curtains of surburbia. No swingers parties that I know of but I'm sure they happen but iIdon't get invites not that I'd be there.

I'll be over all this gloom by tomorrow but sometimes you get so lonely you blog. (you can quote me on that)

On a lighter note...how many football crazy farmers are going to call their bulls 'Zidane' now!? ;)

June 2006

Same Old England

Same old England at football tournaments.

Penalty shoot-out can England win one? (Deep down you somehow doubt it and low and behold they lose again)

Two Quarter Finals had been decided by Penalty Shoot-outs and you saw the most effecient, clinical example of how to win by the Germans (Do they ever lose Penalty Shoot-Outs?!)

England v Portugal was far from a classic game and played in a stadium with its roof on which makes it a strange atmosphere with no natural light to give any sense of day or night. Neither team really created any major chances and neither teams goalkeepers had anything of note to do.

Wayne Rooney morphed back into Wayniac Roonatic and kicked a different set of balls and got sent off. It will be interesting to see how the tabloid press greets Rooney and Eriksson tomorrow.

France beat the supposed favourites Brazil by a single goal...actually none of the quater final games have been that exciting.

What I really wanted to see at the end of show montage for England though was footage of Svennis Goran Eriksson and Steve McLaren with the Pet Shops Boys song 'I'm with Stupid' being played over it.

Well they have 2 years to practise scoring from 12 yards out for the European Championships!