What is your defintion of 'having fun'?

What is your definition of 'having fun'?

When did you last 'have fun'?

When did you last have a 'fun time'?

Who?

So Wimbledon has begun and whoops Tim Henman is out in the second round. Did anybody really think he was going to beat Roger Federer?

I just to follow tennis more than I do and used to play at least once a week but now I don't know any of the players playing.

I'm sort of interested in whose playing but I'm not watching that closely...maybe watching so much football has taking it out of me?

I could even go to Wimbledon but don't feel like going as Billy or Todd Sloane.

But then who am I going to get to accompany me, somebody else's girlfriend or wife?

I guess what I'm getting at is I'd like to be part of a pair like Sonny and Cher or Ike and Tina or maybe not they all split up...just sometimes being a solo artist is not so great...sod creative control ;)

Bah, humbug!

(Note to self: 'Don't Worry, Be happy'...yeah right...gosh being gloomy is tiring!)

You're only as interesting as...

where you've been.
what you do.
who you squeeze up next to.
where you live.
who you know.

Discuss

'Well I know what I’ve been told
U gotta work to feed the soul
But I can’t do this all on my own

No I knowI’m no superman
I’m no superman

And you've got your love online
U think you're doin fine
But you’re just plugged into the wall'

Excerpt from 'Superman' by Laslo Bane (as heard at the beginning of 'Scrubs' TV Show)

http://www.hmv.co.uk/hmvweb/displayProductDetails.do?ctx=280;-1;-1;-1&sku=801821

Can they win it?

I am starting to get a weird feeling that England might actually get to the final of the World Cup by playing the most disjointed unattractive football of the tournament.

The team has become a bit like their manager a bit clueless in the manner of how to get where they want to but they're getting there anyway.

There is a distinct possibility that may just Forrest Gump their way onto the finals by scoring the odd goal and dodging the odd bullet (deflecting Ecuador's shot onto the crossbar for example). England have been having their luck of good and bad luck in equal quantities that its all leveling out to turn them into surprise winners.

Be that as it may its Portugal next and while they're mising some key players, England has this weird laconic style of play that seems to be winning them matches.

England may not be setting the world on fire with their displays but they keep on chugging along. They don'y play flowing football, no one player has shone brightly yet, its all been very workman like but maybe that's what might do it.

It all seems like a let down despite all the flags and the attempts at national pride England the team has been a very flat experience to watch because of the manner in which they have played. They haven't been entertainers, it doesn't look like fun for them...or is the expectancy level too high?

I predict another bundled, bungled win for England which is good...

I wonder if the English public would rather England went out in style or went on to win the whole tournament with their special brand of lucky, clueless, bungling football.

Are you settled?

I still have a growing sense of restlestness and in the great tradition of male unrest and aimlessness have found myself wondering where to go and where I'll be going to.

I am trying to enjoy the ride and being like Peter Pan does at times have its joys but my internal grown up voice and society and the damn television make it perfectly clear that there is a certain expectancy to ones achievements or lack of by certain ages.

And try as might I cannot always ignore desires and aspirations that are put into my head by advertising, fiction, non-fiction and observation.

However, what do I do to change my situation not alot or is it a case of raising the bar far too soon or do I need to step out from my shell and to just do it?

As another blogger has put it, it really is hard trying to balance 'Being with Doing'.

Back to the question of the title of this post...Are you settled?

I am not so sure that I am settled at all, I know I'm not living where I want to be nor how I want to be and Im not entirely sure what I want to be doing.

But hey that means I know something!

ADDED AT 1745 - Learned of an upcoming job today will email CV...

change?

Some questions

Just some of the things moving about my head at this moment in time...

1. There has to be more to life than work...isn't there? I know that there is but what it is I don't know for me yet.
2. Or does work give us the means to live and find ourselves? Work can define and shape us if we are lucky to do something with true passion.
3. How does one find meaning to one's life? With difficulty and it may not last a lifetime when we find but just a moment or a few years.
4. What is your reason for being? This I do not know.
5. The Rules of Attraction, what is that elusive quality that brings two people together because I know I'm sadly lacking in that department at present? Cupids's arrow? A healthy bank balance? Big muscles? Long legs? All of those things or none of those things? Another one of life's mysteries.
6. What makes things click and brings about kisses and maybe more? Chemicals that are subconciously excreted and guide us? Or more of the above? A kind word? A gesture?
7. How can I increase my chances of being a desireable person and not on a 'just friends' basis? Then I wouldn't be asking if I knew.
8. Just how will England do in the World Cup? They need to get it together and soon and if they can make it to the quater finals. Can they win it? Not convinced they can play as a team.
9. Can Japan beat Australia? Tight game, I know what the Australia players are capable of well the ones that play in the English Premiership, Japan I know less about.
10. Just who will finish as Runners up in Group F? Japan, Australia or Croatia, they're all unknown quantities based on past tournament experience Croatia will probably prevail.
11. Where's my driving license got to? Lets see what the postman brings on Monday.
12. What has happened to the replacement copy of a book that I ordered online? I should be getting a replacement copy later in the week.
13. Which OST CD of 'Elizabethtown' is better, Volume 1 or Volume 2? Volume 2 looks more interesting based on the track listings even though I've haven't heard any of it.
14. Why am I asking so many questions? Because I spend too much time thinking and not doing.
15. Where are you going for the summer? Absolutely no idea, I have notions of where I could or might like to go but don't do anything about it see above.
16. What was the last time you ate out? Last Thursday in a Japanese restaurant round the corner of the British Museum.
17. What did you order? Tofu Salad, Yasai Yakisoba Noodles, Tokyo Mix Okonomiyaki.
18. People say they could spend the rest of their lives 'here' meaning Jamaica, Barbados etcetra but could you? Think it might get tough without the occassional visits to grey, smoggy, crowded streets and dirty smelly public transport and overpriced movie theatres and great big buildings full of art by dead people and living 'artists'.
19. What do you wish you were 'more' of? e.g. more determined, more popular etc Definitely need more confidence.
20. When did you last have a good laugh? Not so much good laughs so to speak more wry smiles and chuckles.

A New Job

I have a new job, its one I've been on for a while but didn't realise.

It's called getting your health back! And while at times it has been a rather solitary occupation it has been one of great personal importance.

Now a thing called society and its expectations have been interferring with that process for a while and have been clouding the picture. There is also pressure that I have been exerting upon myself and a case of trying to keep up with the 'Joneses'.

Sure I'd love to 'play house' too like many of my work colleagues but I'm nowhere near being financially able to and sure I'd like to have a girl of my own to share the things I want to do and things that I hope to do. That time might not be right now and thats alright...

However, I'm really believing that good things will and do happen to good people and while there are times when it seems all is lost...I will survive ;)

This may be a temporary moment of touch feely peace at my place and where I can or will go but I'm trying to enjoy it wihile it lasts probably be just for this afternoon and I'll look back upon this post with bemusement.

This post like many is just off the cuff, my posts happen when I have a thought and its rare that I preplan them, I just let the words flow, hence the propensity for typos or missing words which occassionally I'll go back and correct or add but not always.

There is no real point to this post aside from laying out some of my observations on things at this moment in time.

I really do want to start to rejoin the land of the living though and that in itself must be a good thing.

Movies that I've seen recently

Recently I've been going to the cinema again...aside from the initial surge of annoyance at having to pay almost £10 for a ticket in central London, once the film starts I have to say there is still something special about watching a film on a big screen.

So what did I see?

'Down In The Valley' which was a little long and very evocative of 'Taxi driver' in particular but it made fine use of its location and the performance of Edward Norton as expected was good and held the picture together.

'X-Men 3' was as expected loud, noisy and special effects driven but ultimately rather disappointing and emotionally empty. I blame this in part to Bryan Singer's defection to a superhero from a rival comic book publishing house more about that later in the summer. I enjoyed the first two X-Men movies but this one just didn't let you care particulary about the characters.

'36 Quai des Orfevres' a French film that was actually made in 2004 and a Cop drama that is already going to be remade by Hollywood at some point. The influence of Michael Mann's 'Heat' from 1995 is very evident here in terms of the look of the film and the dynamic of having two strong chacters butting heads especially since you have two of France's biggest male leads in Daniel Auteuil and Gerard Depardieu in the roles. It was well made but not as great as I had hoped if anything it made me think about watching 'Heat' again.

As a side note I saw this film at the Institut Francais in South Kensington and it was a good cinema and a nice change not to be in a multiplex cinema. There were no cupholders here, it seems they show not just new releases but also French classics so I now have a new venue to go to every and then in the future.