Laziness

Laziness
La"zi*ness\, n. The state or quality of being lazy.

la⋅zy
  /ˈleɪzi/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [ley-zee] Show IPA adjective, -zi⋅er, -zi⋅est, verb, -zied, -zy⋅ing.
Use laziness in a Sentence
–adjective
1. averse or disinclined to work, activity, or exertion; indolent.

I am self aware and realize that I'm being very lazy and while I know what I have to do something is stopping me.

Its one thing to be lazy but combined with apathy its a wonder that I get up in the morning.

I don't really know what's going on anymore. I get up and the day may vary only by what I eat and what programs are shown on the television. I am not doing anything to try and change my landscape. I apply for jobs but deep within I am not settled and I could change my scenery but I'll still be me and my concerns will still be with me wherever I travel.

Am I anybody's type? Or is anybody my type?

Sometimes I wonder am I actually going to be anybody's type anymore in the distant past I was the type of boy for some girls but then that has long since passed and now I don't seem to be anybody's type. Or do we end up becoming to set in our ways that we expect others to just tolerate our foibles and agree with us or does the fight and effort just decrease the longer you spend on your own watch?

The flip side of the question is also do I actually have a type? The thing that I find interesting is that often other people's girls seem that much more attractive probably because they're not plagued with the anxiety of trying to impress you or in trying to find the one for them.

Night into Day

I've just seen night turn into day. The dark is becoming light again. The dead of night is now the sound of birds. I am without sleep and have no tiredness instead I am filled with an anxiety born of frustration at not knowing quite what I am doing with my time and self anymore.

Deflated

Whilst I realize Rome wasn't built in a day and all that, its now June and yet again I am out of a job. Sometimes I envy those with a job but then some of them envy my freedom.

I still haven't found something to really capture my imagination in all aspects of my life. I get up, I find some physical ailment to give me some sort of pain which in truth seems to be the only way to confirm that I am indeed alive.

Occasionally I get a mild sense of pleasure from cycling and playing Scrabble on facebook but my art is somewhat mediocre.

There are days where I feel like I am watching from above and not necessarily a part of the world. I sometimes think I am becoming invisible especially when people bump into me as I wasn't there and say nothing.