How do you decide where to live?

1) How do you decide where to live?
2) With no fixed job how do you know where to move to?
3) How did you find your current accomodation?
4) Did you know your housemates before you moved in?
5) Would you prefer living alone or to share?

Do I dwell too much on the past?

It has been pointed out to me that I am not embracing life due to being stuck thinking about that has past and what I had in the past.

I agree to a large part and it is true that I perhaps lack the courage and will to go out and do new things as well as the finances and now the passport since that's gone for renewal.

I wrestle constantly with wanting and trying to get back into the freelance work that I did before because I loved doing the job and yes it does sting to know that 95% of your former colleagues are working while you're not. I've had to sit back and watch them catch up and learn that they get paid a better rate than me. There is the battle within not to become a bitter anger ball and the constant feelings of questioning over my self worth.

So today's question of the day is what could I do instead even though I don't really want to do anything else...

I am tired of my own misery just as others might be but don't necessarily say so to my face.

And believe me if I knew the way out from the serpentine, suffocating beastie called 'being miserable' I'd take it.



On an altogether different note:

LIVERPOOL 2 - 1 BARCELONA

Interesting how the media all follow each other's lead like sheep leading up to the game and writing Liverpool out as no hopers in the tie and now since the victory they are playing an altogether different tune.

That midweek Champions League victory was followed by a resounding Premiership victory against one of the lower placed clubs.

LIVERPOOL 4 - 0 SHEFFIELD UNITED

Am I fooling myself by living in hope?

I still believe that I will get back into 'work' in the fickle industry that I was once in but so far after allmost two months of sending out CV's and a couple of encouraging meetings whereby I'm told positives I am still unemployed.

So far I am keeping the faith just about and holding out for a big fish although the smaller fish don't bite either.

New Year...fresh start and all that...or Lost in Transition

Hasn't quite materialised that way as I have a couple of near misses on the job front which leave me frustrated and doubtful over whether I should keep the faith.

If I think about it I'd really like to be in New York or in California living, working and playing...it probably is a 'the grass is always greener on the other side' thing to a degree.

I know I need something in my life but what I don't know.

Back online!

Well, I am back online now without having to pay for my time by the half hour or hour on some yucky keyboard in an Internet Cafe.

So Valentines Day...no cards received nor sent.

Job...still not employed in my field...it's looking more and more like Temping...arghhh!

Will no doubt post a post of greater length soon and will be doing the rounds to my blogroll asap.

Friend? Colleague? Competitor!?

I am still not online at my address due to numerous mix-ups and miscommunications or more simply fcuk ups with the ISP...hopefully by Wednesday as it is i am back in an Internet Cafe.

The following has occured to me:

My 'friends' are also my 'colleagues' but also my 'competitors' however all three are not necessarily compatible.

Colleagues are friends when you work together but when you find yourselves out of work they become competitors.

Competitors cannot be friends and so the friendship is an uneasy one and you only become colleagues when you are sharing the experience of working on the same job or being unemployed together.

I am going to have revise what constitutes 'friendship' in light of these current observations over the status and notion of friendship, competition and the nature of compatibility outside of the workplace.

I think too much perhaps but I feel I may be onto something with the realization outlined above.

I continue to feel wretched at the knowledge that 'friends'/'colleagues'/'competitors' are currently winning employment wheareas I continue to fumble along trying to pick up my spirits and try to grin and bear it at their good news.