Do I dwell too much on the past?
It has been pointed out to me that I am not embracing life due to being stuck thinking about that has past and what I had in the past.
I agree to a large part and it is true that I perhaps lack the courage and will to go out and do new things as well as the finances and now the passport since that's gone for renewal.
I wrestle constantly with wanting and trying to get back into the freelance work that I did before because I loved doing the job and yes it does sting to know that 95% of your former colleagues are working while you're not. I've had to sit back and watch them catch up and learn that they get paid a better rate than me. There is the battle within not to become a bitter anger ball and the constant feelings of questioning over my self worth.
So today's question of the day is what could I do instead even though I don't really want to do anything else...
I am tired of my own misery just as others might be but don't necessarily say so to my face.
And believe me if I knew the way out from the serpentine, suffocating beastie called 'being miserable' I'd take it.
On an altogether different note:
LIVERPOOL 2 - 1 BARCELONA
Interesting how the media all follow each other's lead like sheep leading up to the game and writing Liverpool out as no hopers in the tie and now since the victory they are playing an altogether different tune.
That midweek Champions League victory was followed by a resounding Premiership victory against one of the lower placed clubs.
LIVERPOOL 4 - 0 SHEFFIELD UNITED
I agree to a large part and it is true that I perhaps lack the courage and will to go out and do new things as well as the finances and now the passport since that's gone for renewal.
I wrestle constantly with wanting and trying to get back into the freelance work that I did before because I loved doing the job and yes it does sting to know that 95% of your former colleagues are working while you're not. I've had to sit back and watch them catch up and learn that they get paid a better rate than me. There is the battle within not to become a bitter anger ball and the constant feelings of questioning over my self worth.
So today's question of the day is what could I do instead even though I don't really want to do anything else...
I am tired of my own misery just as others might be but don't necessarily say so to my face.
And believe me if I knew the way out from the serpentine, suffocating beastie called 'being miserable' I'd take it.
On an altogether different note:
LIVERPOOL 2 - 1 BARCELONA
Interesting how the media all follow each other's lead like sheep leading up to the game and writing Liverpool out as no hopers in the tie and now since the victory they are playing an altogether different tune.
That midweek Champions League victory was followed by a resounding Premiership victory against one of the lower placed clubs.
LIVERPOOL 4 - 0 SHEFFIELD UNITED
posted by fb at
12:09 PM
3 Comments:
Forgive me, but is freelance work what you've been trying to get into for all this time? If not, I would suggest doing what you love, despite any financial drawbacks. Money doesn't mean as much as people think when they're not happy working.
i'm with eric on this one. i am a big believer in doing what one loves (advice i need to take myself). i have nothing but admiration for those who do do what they love in life. it is a rare thing. yes, it usually is very difficult and challenging (which is why the masses tend to do what is easy) but perhaps it is what makes life interesting.
sometimes one does get stuck when trying to pursue their desires, but it is not a reason to give up and the trick is to try not to be bitter about it. that you try not to be bitter is a good sign.
and i have long been told that it is important not to forget the past - for how else can you try not to make the same mistakes again or even how will you know how to succeed as you did before. i am sure a philosophical person would tell you to just not let the past rule you.
if it makes you feel better - i totally dwell on the past way too much and beat myself up about it all the time. so let us pledge that even if we can't stop dwelling, at least we won't beat ourselves up about it.
whew! blab blab blab... sorry!
oh yes...
congrats to liverpool!!!
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