Void

It's 330 in the am and I'm awake because I feel hurt and don't really understand why and where it all went wrong. I really shouldn't be dwelling on it, its been four years since I got ill but I can't help but feel i never really got back on my feet again since.

And people tell me to move on but I can't seem to...I was doing well in the film industry but got ill and when I came back was no longer the golden boy. The best thing that could have happened to me at the time would have been a job instead of being cast aside. By being cast aside I lost confidence in myself as I watched everybody else get work.

That gaping void in my life that was a working life has yet to be filled until I find success be it financial or otherwise in another field I am going to be constantly haunted by this horrific realization that I was not good enough.