Friday, October 17, 2008

Self doubt

I am plagued by self-doubt and a chronic lack of self-confidence that seems to hit me like a wave usually in the middle or towards the end of a month. It comes on in such a way that I feel so miserable and angry that I can only express it as a kind of despair with rage thrown into the mix.

I am finally able to walk without crutches but don't have a full range of mobility back yet and must still be careful. Everytime I get cocky I wobble and my weight shifts uncomfortably onto my left thigh so I'm maintaining the use of one crutch for a while longer.

I've gone back to school with absolutely no clue about what to do in regards to money. I've chosen to study Fine Art and Applied Art at Masters level. Jeez, I like making my life difficult...its too early to say if I'm loving it, hating it or just being.

3 Comments:

Blogger Devil Mood said...

Wow, not the kind of adventures you were looking for :(
I'm really sorry about your leg, it's good to know you're feeling better.

I think it's rather brave that you're going back to school, not brave in the crazy sense of the word, but generally brave.

12:52 PM  
Blogger pandave said...

i think it's awesome that you're back at school. i have toyed with the thought, on and off, for a while.

10:12 PM  
Blogger kimberlina said...

look at you! at least you're walking and not in bed, having to use a pee pan. everything is relative. just enjoy the ride while you're moving.

*hug*

2:07 PM  

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