Is going away really the best way to find yourself?
There seem to be different schools of thought on this...there are those that believe a holiday or a trip is a good way to reset the mechanism, a way to reboot the system and to gain a fresh perspective.
Another thought is that while you may go have a great time the problems that you leave behind for two or three weeks will still be there when you get back.
Or do some people purge their problems and leave them in a foreign land...
Do people have to travel halfway around the world to find themselves?
I am suffering from this general sense of malaise and of being at odds with myself and my place in the world. It sounds very melodramatic but I really don't know what I'm supposed to be. I used to be much more sure of what it was I wanted to do professionally and where it would and could take me but now I'm not so sure. And what would I do instead? Well if I knew I'd be working towards that but I don't know.
The only thing I do know is that I don't know.
There are times where I do wish for the conventional ideal of being in love and having a family but know this is probably not for me while I continue to struggle with finding comfort within myself and where and what I'm supposed to be doing.
Then if I'm lucky I may be able to immerse myself into sonething even for an hour or two where I won't find myself thinking such thoughts...
Perhaps, I just need to explore even more of the places that i go to already...I find myself walking the same streets and visiting the same restaurants and shops maybe change and variety would be good...
I devote to much time to trying to think my way out of things rather than devoting time to doing things that might help me work things out.
Maybe I just need a really, really big sign telling me which way to go...
SUNDAY ADDITION:
I realise everybody has problems and it's not just me and maybe I should give everybody a break and that's it's not all about me but I sure as hell wish I knew and felt a bit more sure about things...
Another thought is that while you may go have a great time the problems that you leave behind for two or three weeks will still be there when you get back.
Or do some people purge their problems and leave them in a foreign land...
Do people have to travel halfway around the world to find themselves?
I am suffering from this general sense of malaise and of being at odds with myself and my place in the world. It sounds very melodramatic but I really don't know what I'm supposed to be. I used to be much more sure of what it was I wanted to do professionally and where it would and could take me but now I'm not so sure. And what would I do instead? Well if I knew I'd be working towards that but I don't know.
The only thing I do know is that I don't know.
There are times where I do wish for the conventional ideal of being in love and having a family but know this is probably not for me while I continue to struggle with finding comfort within myself and where and what I'm supposed to be doing.
Then if I'm lucky I may be able to immerse myself into sonething even for an hour or two where I won't find myself thinking such thoughts...
Perhaps, I just need to explore even more of the places that i go to already...I find myself walking the same streets and visiting the same restaurants and shops maybe change and variety would be good...
I devote to much time to trying to think my way out of things rather than devoting time to doing things that might help me work things out.
Maybe I just need a really, really big sign telling me which way to go...
SUNDAY ADDITION:
I realise everybody has problems and it's not just me and maybe I should give everybody a break and that's it's not all about me but I sure as hell wish I knew and felt a bit more sure about things...
posted by fb at
2:17 PM
10 Comments:
I can say firsthand that taking a trip can be incredibly empowering, depending on what you choose to do, and who you visit.
I was so lucky to have such a good friend to look after me (you know who and where :) and I will treasure that time for...well, forever. Sure, I had a really dark period upon re-entry to my real world, but you get to look back & go...look what I did...and then figure out how to do it again.
I say do it & if Boston's on your list of places to visit, you're always welcome here! (And after that, in Melbourne if that ends up working out for me :)
arrghh i just left you a long comment and it's gone into the ether.
drop me an email. sorry i haven't been around but things got really fucked up over here. im doing much better and yeah this trip is going to help me a lot.
I think both theories are right, funnily enough - a change is great to get some perspective, to feel different about some things but the problems we have won't vanish just like that. Still, I don't think it'd be WRONG or a bad decision if you decide to change some things or travel.
Until recently, I never knew the future could be so uncertain and puzzling. Somehow there had always been some slight messages that guided me through my path and when these messages stopped, the future became so possible in all sorts of ways, it's confusing.
I can't tell you that one day you'll wake up and figure it out, but I wish you did! I wish that was possible, for my sake as well.
A trip to someplace different is always good for the soul. It gets the juices flowing again.
As for whether or not it can give you any direction, I don't really know. Sorry.
It's definitely better than sitting around bored with yourself.
For me one of the best places to find oneself and do some soul-searching is the bath :-)
(I hear some people find themselves in the loo.. heh)
getting out of the norm can be a good thing, definitely. i like your idea of not visiting the same places over and over. it's a hard routine to break out of, but it's worth it every once in a while.
going out in public in a place i don't know is scary for me. in a social anxiety kind of way. so i bring a book or a pen and paper and read a magazine, etc. sketch by myself. and just try to enjoy the newness and not freak out. i always feel better afterwards.
Why don't you just try to fall in love?Is it that difficult?You need more love in your life, but it must start within you.
...I mean within you as starting from you towards something or someone (better someone), forget about loving more yourself: you are perfectly all right and you'll get there when you have to.
About the sunday's addition: Yes, sure, we all have troubles, but this is your blog, not ours. So you should do what you like.
And at least you're sure of something!
Well, maybe you don't have to be sure, you know? Maybe we're never really sure, we just have to take some kind of chance. There's many things we can't know unless we try, isn't it? Or so they say ;)
well fb, i am hardly ever sure about anything except i love chocolate and ice cream and i don't like shellfish.
but i think every situation is different. a while ago i went through some rather stressful times and, fortunately for me it turns out, just then the opportunity to move elsewhere arose. and it was good to move away, exhale and have a new place from which to look at everything.
other times though, sticking it out is not a bad idea either.
that said, even if you have the shadow of an itch to get away, go ahead and scratch. even if you take a short break, it might be just what the doctor ordered.
and i'm with devil's mood. this is your blog and you can blah if you want to.
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