Funny person
I'm a strange one quite often I moan about not meeting new peoople or not going out.
Tonight the crowds have come to me or rather for my brother and his fiancee they are having a birthday/engagement extravaganza party thing and where am I?
Hiding upstairs listening to their chatter and laughter as they celebrate and typing on my backlit keyboard in the dark. I don't feel particulary happy nor unhappy.
Does this make me extraordinarily shy or cowardly? Or just funny but funny how?
They are all so happy and confident in their lives with their career paths or their partners.
I wish I could just stop freaking out over my life status every day.
Perhaps I am just incredibly selfish and hence this hiding myself away.
Update 11pm: Attempted mingling on the periphery of things and realised I am a completely different person from the past when I was having my incredible run of work. I wouldn't call it bragging but it did give me something to talk about with passion. Now I am not exactly a jibbering wreck but I find it hard to interact in social situations.
Overanalysis - very possibly.
Tonight the crowds have come to me or rather for my brother and his fiancee they are having a birthday/engagement extravaganza party thing and where am I?
Hiding upstairs listening to their chatter and laughter as they celebrate and typing on my backlit keyboard in the dark. I don't feel particulary happy nor unhappy.
Does this make me extraordinarily shy or cowardly? Or just funny but funny how?
They are all so happy and confident in their lives with their career paths or their partners.
I wish I could just stop freaking out over my life status every day.
Perhaps I am just incredibly selfish and hence this hiding myself away.
Update 11pm: Attempted mingling on the periphery of things and realised I am a completely different person from the past when I was having my incredible run of work. I wouldn't call it bragging but it did give me something to talk about with passion. Now I am not exactly a jibbering wreck but I find it hard to interact in social situations.
Overanalysis - very possibly.
posted by fb at
9:33 PM
10 Comments:
getting out amongst people can be difficult, but i don't think it's a bad thing or a funny thing, especially not a cowardly thing, just a thing.
anthony and i had a dinner & movie date planned for last night, but dinner was enough for us. the theatre is in the mall and there were far too many people & youngsters, zipping about and making us feel claustrophobic. abort, abort!
so we went home and relaxed instead.
it's good to celebrate on the fringes. i try to keep a drink in hand, alcohol, tea, ginger ale for protection.
and often, on saturdays, i stay indoors all day and feel bad about it later, that the day is completely wasted. i have to force myself out of doors and get panicky in stores.
uhhhhhh... where was i going w/ this..... i think just that... it's ok to be anti-social. it's good to try to get out once in a while. but don't berate yourself over it. it's a part of you. *hug*
whoa. that was a lot of writing.
(it's a saturday and i've been indoors all day. i went out once to the vet and once to take out the trash.) ;)
quite! i needed my distemper shot. ;)
hey fb, i have found that not every social situation is for everyone. a few months ago i went to a party in new jersey and i remember sitting at a table and wanting to cry, i was so miserable. as i was the designated driver and generally a teetotaler, i could not even find dutch courage in the bottom of a martini glass.
thankfully i was able to buzz reb and chat with her a little and pass the time. i digress.
but at other times, i am with folk who i feel i can relate to on some level and i am just in a much better place.
in these situations, it also helps to know that what you see is not always what you get. and what they have is not necessarily what you want.
ps - i have a super long word verification thingy
Hello! I try not to talk about my job when I'm out because once I get started, I can't stop! Plus, when I tell people what I do, they make fun of me LOL!!
Seriously, I'm glad that I am passionate about what I do but I am also passionate about other things like recycling and global warming. That goes down sooooooo well on parties.
;-)
I find interaction increasingly difficult. This weekend sealed it for me, hence my long rambling post on my blog
I think it's good that you forced yourself to go and interact, even though you probably didn't want to.
I wish that we did not live in a culture where our worth was measured my what we do and how much money we make, as opposed to the sincerity and love in our souls.
You should read "Tuesdays with Morrie"...I gave my copy away, but if you can't get it, let me know, and I will send another copy to you.
xoxo
FB, you are assuming a lot about these people, comparing them to you, and feeling intimidated. i bet they are quirky messed up confused people. just like me, and you. i tend to ask people lots about themselves, to steer the conversation away from me. and the more they reveal, the more you might just realise that they should not make you walk into another room for fear of being judged.
aw, dude - sometimes you're in the mood for it and sometimes you're not. And of course your life circumstances make it more or less easy to think of conversation. But small talk is so boring anyway, always the same old questions. People are generally totally interested in my job but I get bored saying the same things over and over - so we all have to think of new things to say every so often - or ask them and transfer the pressure.
You're not a funny person - or at least, no funnier than everyone else. I guarantee you 90% think they're a bit odd and most of the other 10% are arrogant and/or thick.
this weekend i went through your whole blog - i felt as though i had jumped into the middle of a conversation - and wow! the last couple of years you have gone through a whole bunch of things - and that's just the stuff you have spoken about. and then there were the nice sketches and photographs that you threw in. all so much facsinating than most folk talking about their careers or their partners.
this is a bit of an aimless jaunt, but...
but i tell you that you would probably have better conversation than i do at some social gatherings. at parties, when folk ask me what i do, sometimes i say - as little as possible. my job is a big yawn
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home