That spark, that 'je ne sais pourquoi', the skip in your step...
I haven't found that extra step, that 'je ne sais pas pourquoi', that (snaps fingers) in any girl, lady, woman...the inspiration that makes a muse, that 'x factor', that moment that makes your heart skip a beat...
I saw two female friends today both are very attractive in their own ways and I enjoy their company but I have no feelings of desire for either them.
I used to for one of them, she was my Estella to my Pip but no longer. The idealized romanticized version was better than the reality.
Sometimes I wonder does that make me weird? Shouldn't I fancy them? Or have I truly locked up my heart and thrown away the key that I won't let it be touched by lust or love? But I don't fancy them and there was no spark of physical attraction or have I lost my libido?
Not really sure what I'm saying but its out there now!
In the meantime I shall continue to perceive of myself as the cliched conflicted man against the world...Heathcliff, Hamlet, Wolverine, Batman...;)
I saw two female friends today both are very attractive in their own ways and I enjoy their company but I have no feelings of desire for either them.
I used to for one of them, she was my Estella to my Pip but no longer. The idealized romanticized version was better than the reality.
Sometimes I wonder does that make me weird? Shouldn't I fancy them? Or have I truly locked up my heart and thrown away the key that I won't let it be touched by lust or love? But I don't fancy them and there was no spark of physical attraction or have I lost my libido?
Not really sure what I'm saying but its out there now!
In the meantime I shall continue to perceive of myself as the cliched conflicted man against the world...Heathcliff, Hamlet, Wolverine, Batman...;)
posted by fb at
11:07 PM
6 Comments:
nah, doesn't make you weird. just makes you more honest with yourself. :) it's cool that you can say that - that the fantasy was better than the reality.
ah, too often the truth.
For what it's worth, if you had feelings of desire for every reasonably attractive woman of your acquaintace you would be...EvilD.
You have to have hope that it will happen, or you won't notice it when it does. It just takes some of us longer than others to find it and I refuse to give up (on most days anyway.)
I don't know if my thoughts are worth a dime today, as I'm feeling all conflicted and dramatic myself. I just haven't figured out which heroine to cast myself as yet.
Finn, you are a normal male person. you have set some standards and you just want them to be met. and then, there is also chemistry. even when standards are met, there's got to be some chemistry. and if not, then you go out with them and have a drink and chat and noone gets hurt.
Maybe, as you got to know her, you realized she would be more of a value to you as a friend than as a lover. Or, maybe you're just picky like me.
We all have our types.
Most men drool over Pam Anderson. I don't get it.
it just means you're not settling, and there is nothing wrong with that.
never settle for anything less than what you want in your heart, whether it be frank sinatra and butterflies or something else all together x
You aren't weird. I thought the same thing about myself after my ex and I split. I had gone out on dates with nice handsome men and I had no desire to get physical with any of them. The thought that they would want to do anything other than give me a quick peck on the cheek petrified me (ok, that is a bit childish) and I thought I had turned into an ice queen. It took a bit of time to realise that the problem was that I just didn't fancy them. Nice guys, but no chemistry. You can't help that, but just be happy that these ladies have become friends. Can't have too many friends in life.
You'll meet someone who makes your heart skip a beat and when it happens it will be the best feeling in the world. I assure you. :)
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