Can men & women truly be friends?
Can men & women truly be friends?
I always feel a twinge of jealousy when I hear a female friend/aqquaintance is going on a date.
There is part of me that feels insulted and wonders why it's not me and then it passes but nevertheless it happens.
Is it a merely brotherly type reaction or is it more?
Is it me having a fear of losing the affection of that person or secretly wanting to be with that person but not being spurred into action until somebody else has done what I want to do.
Yet you can get on well with somebody mentally but not have a physical attraction.
'In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so ***** special
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin here?
I don't belong here'
'Creep' - Radiohead
I always feel a twinge of jealousy when I hear a female friend/aqquaintance is going on a date.
There is part of me that feels insulted and wonders why it's not me and then it passes but nevertheless it happens.
Is it a merely brotherly type reaction or is it more?
Is it me having a fear of losing the affection of that person or secretly wanting to be with that person but not being spurred into action until somebody else has done what I want to do.
Yet you can get on well with somebody mentally but not have a physical attraction.
'In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so ***** special
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin here?
I don't belong here'
'Creep' - Radiohead
posted by fb at
5:35 PM
3 Comments:
With the best of my friends i find there is some kind of physical attraction, nor sexual but still, physical. And i also mean female friends. I don't think you can really establish deep bonds without this kind of feeling. At least I can't. I don't want to have sex with my friends, that's not what i mean. But i want to touch them and be around them and see them and i love the sound of their voice. That's physical isn't it? The mental thing comes after that.
When we were looking for a new flatmate, a friend pointed out that if we had another woman in the house I would get a bit territorial as I'd been the only female in the house. It's not that I fancy any of the boys in the house, it was just they were my boys. I like being the only girl. It sets me apart from them.
But in terms of being friends with members of the opposite sex, I'm stumped. I have great male friends, and I know I'd never want to get involved with any of them. But as Chloe says, I do treasure them, being in physical contact, albeit only an occassional hug, or just the sound of their voices. I think I've always held my friends in greater respect than any of my relationships and that's where it all goes a bit pear shaped...
I slighly disagree with the comment above. For me there is no way of having such thing as male friends. I am a woman and I can have as many female friends as I wish, also having such wonderful female friends as I already have; Really, who needs to make their existence more complicated trying to turn a man into a friend?. Men are men: you can't ignore their deep link to their...sexuality? :-)
You are right Flyn, not to worry at all.
Re. Chloe's comment I can see your point: physical contact is important among humans independently of the gender and I see you were commenting on that, not in any sexual interest associated to it.
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