All By Myself
I can't figure it out, there are times when all I want is to be all myself.
Then other times I want to be around people, I need to be around other people, just to see them walking and going about their business in their own private worlds but even that has to be in moderation. If a crowd is too big and I can't step away from it I feel uncomfortable.
Then there is the specatcle of a football match in a stadium which is an amazing experience, you have your seat and your attention is directed towards the pitch. It is afterwards as the crowds pour out from multiple entrances which have become exits that you are fully aware of how many people were there.
I miss the camaraderie of work, the banter, the jokes, the shared lunches, the collective teamwork of going after the same goal.
I like the idea of dating but don't go on them whatsover.
Days of isolation serve to calm me as well to drive me insane with longing for more.
I am or have become a man of little action whose mind is his own prison.
I am trapped in my own delusional pretentiousness.
Now I'm just trying to be clever...
Then other times I want to be around people, I need to be around other people, just to see them walking and going about their business in their own private worlds but even that has to be in moderation. If a crowd is too big and I can't step away from it I feel uncomfortable.
Then there is the specatcle of a football match in a stadium which is an amazing experience, you have your seat and your attention is directed towards the pitch. It is afterwards as the crowds pour out from multiple entrances which have become exits that you are fully aware of how many people were there.
I miss the camaraderie of work, the banter, the jokes, the shared lunches, the collective teamwork of going after the same goal.
I like the idea of dating but don't go on them whatsover.
Days of isolation serve to calm me as well to drive me insane with longing for more.
I am or have become a man of little action whose mind is his own prison.
I am trapped in my own delusional pretentiousness.
Now I'm just trying to be clever...
posted by fb at
12:15 PM
2 Comments:
Thank you for your post.
Reading your posts makes me think of the times we all feel the way you do. As humans we are supposed to experience all kinds of feelings and emotions. Good and bad. The tricky thing is to not let eithr over take us-the trick, again is to make it all balance out.
It is ok to dwell on things but not too much. Currently I am going through the same; self doubt, uncertainty, rough time
Good luck and lets cheer up!
Cheer up mate. At least people are here for you, in blogsphere. I know it is not a lot, but it is something when you feel there is nothing else.
Take care.
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